Dear Dr. Laura,

I have been married now for one year and want to share what, to me, is a hilarious example of how men and women can approach things in such very different ways.

My husband and I talked about how we really needed to get our refrigerator cleaned out. In fact, I had lived alone in our house before we married. I have to admit, I had real bachelorette kitchen habits and tended to just stand over the sink eating out of a peanut butter jar. Cleaning the kitchen, let alone the refrigerator, was not on my priority list.  My husband is a serious cook and baker, so getting the kitchen in shape was a mutual goal, as I really love his cooking.

One day, we agreed to tackle it. I dug out my rubber gloves, sponges, spray cleaner, etc. and prepared to really dig into the task of cleaning. I was envisioning pulling all the food out of the refrigerator, pulling out the trays and drawers to wash with hot soapy water and then spraying down the fridge with cleaning product. I left the kitchen to gather my cleaning supplies with a rather grim feeling about how much work this was going to be. When I came back, I saw my husband was standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open, fork in hand, eating a bowl of leftovers. I said, "What in the world are you doing?" My husband said, "I'm cleaning out the refrigerator by getting rid of some of these leftovers." At first, I felt a surge of annoyance at the sight of him standing there methodically stuffing his face with food, but then a moment later, I started to laugh and said, "Well, I guess you have a point. Maybe that is a logical place to start, Honey."

Whenever we have communication glitches, it seems to be along the same lines....approaching things from a completely different perspective. I still giggle inside when I see the image of my tall muscular husband stuffing his face with leftover salmon cakes and coleslaw in front of the refrigerator that day! When we have any communication issues, I try to bring this image to mind and it softens up my I-know-how-to-get-things-done-around-here attitude.  I admit it…

I hope this makes you smile, Dr. Laura, and I want to thank you for helping me to finally get into a healthy relationship with a great man.

Sincerely,

Ann