April 30, 2014
You Can Find Love - Even With Herpes

Hi Dr. Laura,
 
I really felt for the caller who contracted herpes, and thought she could not find love again.
 
I struggled with the same thing. I re-entered the dating scene after many years, and wondered what to say to a new man. I also was starved for affection, and was very worried about the situation. I dated a few guys, had a few casual dates, and then met a man I thought had potential. My plan was to get past the initial getting to know each other, but before we got serious, to let him know.  I was so worried about it, but had a talk with him. I told him I had been young, did a stupid thing, and had contracted herpes. I told him my first husband and I had been very careful, he had not contracted it in 12 years of marriage, and that it can be controlled somewhat with medication. I knew it was essential that I tell him before we were in any heated moment, and it took a lot of courage to do it. He did not reject me, and we continued in our relationship, becoming intimate, and then later breaking up.
 
Then I met my wonderful husband. We went through a similar pattern of getting to know each other. I was really scared when I told him, because I knew he was really special. He was so kind. He took my hands and said it would be alright. He said I had such sadness in my eyes that he just wanted to hold me and make it all better. It was such a weight off my shoulders. I felt truly loved, as there were no secrets. This man is a gift from heaven!! He accepted me, herpes and all, and is a wonderful husband. We are in our 50's, and have such a great marriage. We've been married for 18 months now, and I have never been so happy in my life.
 
So, I would counsel anyone, no matter how hard it is, to gather their strength, and put it out there. If your potential mate cannot see past the herpes to your good points, your great character, your caring and loving personality, and your sense of humor, fun and adventure, then they are not the right husband for you. You can find love again, even with herpes.
 
Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all that you do.
 
S.



Posted by Staff at 2:14 PM