Hey there Dr. Laura!

I wrote a satiric blog titled, "How to Raise a Bratty Useless and Entitled Child". I really think you would like it and would love it if you would read it. Here's a snippet of some of it.  -- Jessica
 

"How to Raise a Bratty Useless and Entitled Child"

Now with all of the hub-bub and hoopla about Miley Cyrus going around I know just what you’re thinking…

HOW CAN I GET MY KID TO BE JUST LIKE HER?!

How can I ensure that I raise a human being who is vain, egotistical, loose, demeaning, entitled, lazy, Godless, useless to society and overall much like an animal in heat? If this is your goal, you’re in luck! By utilizing these simple parenting tips, you can have your child right where you want them in no time flat! So let’s get started:

THEY ARE NEVER WRONG

I don’t care if your child says that two plus two equals five, they are never wrong. Good parents understand that there is no right and wrong in our liberated society. Just because an answer is different doesn’t make it bad. Encourage creative thinking and egomania by fortifying the idea that your child is never wrong. From the time your child begins playing with other children in their toddler years, resolve conflicts by pacifying your child and blaming the other child for the altercation. When your child grows to participate in sports, blame their lack of playtime on the coach and politics instead of your child’s skill and work ethic. If executed correctly, they will one day grow to have unfulfilling relationships because the only people willing to stand them will be those with low self-esteem.

Bonus Tip! If someone accuses your child of doing something wrong vandalism, poor behavior in school, bad grades, etc. make sure your child is present and immediately turn the situation around on the person doing the blaming. Raise your voice and let them know that your child could not possibly be in the wrong and that they should be ashamed for making such a big deal about nothing."

Read the other 6 ways: "How to Raise a Bratty Useless and Entitled Child"