September 2, 2011
"Nagging" in Relationships

Hi Dr. Laura,

I wanted to comment on what I heard you say on your show about women being the main cause of issues in the family unit by being naggy, needy, insecure, and pushing their husbands away.

Well, I am not quite in that same boat, but you've helped me in a very unique way. I am a gay man in a committed relationship. My partner and I don't really take on specific gender roles, but what you said rang a bell deep within me and made me look within myself. I suppose I would be the "woman" in this situation. My partner is calm, collected, cool, secure, and knows at the end of the day we have each other. I see this through the little things we do for each other every day, and it is those little genuine things that mean so much to me. Until recently when your words caused an epiphany for me, I was insecure, needy, and the ever-damaging nag. I was always asking "testing" questions with no right answer, or always needing reassurance or outward showings of affection to "prove" to myself he loves me.

You helped me realize all this sort of attitude accomplishes is pushing away your mate and making an idiot out of yourself. It does nothing to further relationships, and really only satisfies the needy one until they feel the need to nag about something else. Whether the perpetrator is a man or a woman, this rockiness in a relationship causes all harm and no good.

Thank you so much for saying it clearly and to the point, as you always do. It rang true to me in my own way, and ultimately saved my relationship.

Forever a fan,

B.

Posted by Staff at 12:00 AM