When my son married his wonderful wife seven years ago, I told him from that day on he should put his wife first. His father and I raised him to be a good man and a loving husband and father, and I told him that every day he should wake up and ask himself what he could do to make her day great.

These are the things I do and don't do when visiting my daughter-in-law and son:

1. Don't complain.
2. Don't criticize.
3. Always do the dishes after meals.
4. Help in any way I can to reduce her workload.
5. Don't intrude on their special times.
6. Don't offer advice unless asked and then be very careful not to offend.
7. Include her in all emails sent to my son.
8. Recognize her good qualities and let her know.
9. Tell my son how lucky he is to have her as his wife.
10. Realize that it's not about me - it's about them.
11. Recognize that she has a family whom she loves very much.
12. Don't intrude or be jealous of their special time.
13. Don't be selfish when it comes to sharing holidays and vacations.
14. Realize that the best thing I can for my son is to treat my daughter-in-law as I would have liked my husband's mother to have treated me.

I don't claim to be perfect, but I try my best to adhere to these guidelines. My daughter-in-law is a precious gift to our son and to our entire family, and we are grateful to have her in our lives.

Jane