April 29, 2013
When There's a Large Age Difference in Marriage
In 1997, I married my husband when I was 24 and he was 41. We had not known each other that long and it was his third marriage my first.  We had three kids, and then divorced in 2010.

Flash forward, he passed away nearly a year ago of a massive stroke, and now I have three kids ages 13, 9, and 6 with no dad. I never planned to be a divorced mom, and a mom of three kids who lost their dad so young. I am left to pick up the pieces, deal with all of their hurt feelings, and be the best mom I can.  My dad is support and backup, but he's 1500 miles away.

I know that just based on the age and how long we had known each other it was a bad decision to get married. I am hoping that since I heard you warn people not to do this that maybe my story would help a woman who is in a similar situation think twice about where her life might go marrying an older man.

I love my children, and I will keep doing the right thing by them, but not a day goes by when I don't secretly wish I had waited and picked better. I would never tell them this because of course it would be devastating. I am hoping someone hears this and at least thinks twice about the consequences of marrying and having children with someone significantly older. Hollywood may make it look great that Hugh Hefner is married to a 20 something, but the reality for most people is much different than that.

Sincerely,

Cynthia

P.S.  I'm staying single until my kids are raised because I don't think I have good judgment in men. Maybe in 12 years my judgment will improve.


Posted by Staff at 10:23 AM