Dr. Laura, 

I'm a long, long time listener - 20 years! Thanks to you I got the courage to stay home - even at the cost of my marriage. I think that 95% of men out there should thank you for bringing moms back home to care for their children. That leaves 5% of men who hate you forever. I happened to marry the latter pool. 

I read your books, I did the best I could, pretending I had a good and supportive husband.  But I went back to work after my 3 months maternity leave because my husband wouldn't "allow" me to stay home. I arranged my 70-year-old mom to take care of our son until he was 9 months old. I could never forget his eyes every morning when I was leaving him for work, from happy to gazing far distance away. What have I done? How could I leave him when he needed me the most to take care of him? 

Later our baby was diagnosed with Autism. That was when I told my husband, "I have to take care of our son!" Then his tears came down and he said he'd never want his son to go through the poverty he'd been through. I assured him I would go find a job should he lose his job one day. That didn't comfort him because then he told me if I still wanted to quit, he would divorce me. That was when I knew I lost respect for him because I didn't care whether he'd divorce me or not any more. 

My husband also said, "All his female co-workers were used to leaving their children to day care.  What was wrong with me?" My determination got our son a mother to stay home and raise him, but I didn't have a loving husband for the past 20 years. We didn't divorce. We didn't have sex, we didn't have anything between us other than a son. The resentment was/is still huge. But, that was my choice. Even without all that, to be a stay-at-home mother, I'd say, "t's worth it." I cook the meals, clean the house, behave like a wife even though my heart is sometimes sour. I also became our son's one-on-one tutor providing assistance when he needed it while he did his homework. I have made the best of a bad situation. I'll stay married as long as there is food, shelter, and transportation for our son and me. 

Dr. Laura, I may have married into the 5% pool, but if I can make it through all these crappy years, then those 95% of men's lucky wives should appreciate their motherhood down to their cell levels. Life is not finished until we know what our purpose is. May your listeners make wise decisions before they are married! 

Thank you very much. You've done a great job! Thank you! 

A.


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