August 18, 2016
The Power Women Hold in Relationships

Dr. Laura:

My fiancé and I are both 60, and have known each other since we were children.  We both have had one previous (and disastrous) marriage to other people, and our children are grown and gone.  

I want to have a good marriage this time around and live out the rest of my years with the person I love.  After a few months of spending a lot of time together, I kept thinking that he wasn't living up to my DREAM.  I was bitter and unsatisfied, even though I knew he loved me dearly.  Because of my previous marital experience, I had insisted on total honesty and transparency about his past, but then I'd throw it up to him during disagreements.  I was bitchy and whiny about things beyond his control.

My last minute decision to buy "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" (even though we haven't married yet) actually saved our relationship.  After the very first day of reading, I put a few of your suggestions to the test.  He came over after work, and I hugged him, brought him a glass of wine without interrogating him, and cooked him a really good meal.  I was just NICE to him, and he said with tears in his eyes "I love you so much it makes me want to cry."  Wow.

I felt so ashamed that I had put this wonderful man through ten kinds of hell, and he still loved me even though I had acted so horribly toward him.  I plan to re-read your book every time I feel the old me returning!  Thank you for opening my eyes to the power women hold in our relationships.

Amanda


Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM