November 1, 2013
Helping Children Become Independent Adults

Dr. Laura,
 
I think one of the failings of parents is that they don't expect much of their children, and they bail the kids out. If a teen has a job, they should pay for their phone, and car insurance. Once they are out of high school, they should contribute toward room and board. Even if it is $50 a month, they should pay.  They should LEARN what it costs their parents money to live where and how they do. Add little responsibilities throughout their early adult years, and talk to them about the facts of living in the 21st century. Making life too easy is not kind, because it is a false portrayal of life. I know, or know of about 10 contemporaries who have adult children at home. These adults all have jobs, but pay nothing to their parents. They pay NOTHING! They have new cars, new cell phones, and new computers. They eat out and go to theaters. They are living the good life. Their view is "Mom never asked me." or "Dad said I could stay until I get on my feet." My husband and I were given a gift of a down payment for our first two cars 40 and 39 years ago. Other than that, we scrimped and saved and did it ourselves. We knew that if calamity happened, our parents would help us. But since we were grown up enough to get married, we could and would take care of ourselves. If you really love your children, you will help them be responsible for their own lives.
 
Jo

Posted by Staff at 11:15 AM