Dear Dr. Laura, 

I am my husband's girlfriend and my children's mother! 

I grew up in a home where it was 'every man for himself". My father loved my mother, my mother loved herself. She spent money like water. So dad was barely ever around, working multiple jobs and nearly around the clock, trying to keep her happy by bringing in more money. She told us kids numerous times we were never wanted, we were only there because she was careless using birth control. For whatever reason, we four kids didn't cling to each other. Or maybe the older ones did; I was much younger, the baby. I always felt alone and played alone. We lived on a remote farm so there were no neighborhood playmates either. I had a dog for my friend. 

I remember once, a mentally disturbed aunt attacked and hurt me, when I was about 9. My mother stood there and did nothing. Since I had no one to lean on, I got tough, so I could protect myself. 

Being the last kid in the house, my mother was eager to sign so I could marry at 15 and go away. Dad always did what mom wanted. All I wanted was someone to love me, someone to have my back. Of course it didn't work out. I married an older man, but he was a boy, a momma's boy at that. I remember wishing he would be as devoted to me, as he was her. I raised my kids myself, making it known to them ALWAYS that I had their back. 

Fast forward, kids grown and married. One son and wife lived in town, the other son and wife moved here. Immediately my daughters-in-law began fighting for who was number one in my book. I loved them both and refused to play the game. Their jealousy escalated one day into a huge fight, then each calling me trying to put me in the middle. I was so upset and frustrated at to what to do, tough old me was in tears. My man came through the door and saw my tears, asked me what was wrong, and when I explained to him how the girls were frustrating me, he spun on his heels to go back out the door to go "straighten those girls out" I stopped him. It wasn't his battle to fight. But I knew at that moment that he was a keeper. For the first time ever in my life, I had someone who had my back and who would fight to protect me!

We were married a year later. It's been seven years, and he is still my lover, protector, and always has my back. 

Thank you Dr for being there to help us help ourselves! 

Kim