October 28, 2013
Bull Elephants

Dear Dr. Laura,

Lately my 13-year-old son and I have been struggling with our usually great relationship. I couldn't understand the reasons for the sudden problems between us - bickering, arguing about literally everything, and snarky comments. It was getting bad!

These last couple of weeks while riding together in the car, he and I have been listening to your program. You told the story of the bull elephants, 'Mom' elephants and juvenile male elephants. We both listened intently, and after the story about how the juveniles were separated from the bulls, only having the females' influence, and the terrible consequences that followed; he turned down the radio, and said to me, "Mom, that's us!" We had a great talk about how rocky our relationship had been getting and we both promised to do better. We later included OUR bull elephant Dad in the story, and he agreed that we all needed to be more aware of our son's need for the positive influence of the very powerful bull in our family and less of the females: his sister and me.

I'll tell you what, the changes have been immediate and powerful. I can just kick back and let my males do their thing, knowing that my job as Mom is still important, just different now. It's been great! Just yesterday, we went to his sister's volleyball game. After the game he started nagging at me to go home. The adults were chatting, and he was getting impatient. I asked him why he didn't go nag at his Dad to hurry up, and his reply was: "I can't. He's talking to 3 other bull elephants right now." We both laughed and soon headed home grateful in the knowledge that we know our proper places.

Thank you, Dr. Laura, for putting this mom in her place. I'm grateful that I have such a wonderful man who can AND WILL turn his son into a man. Meanwhile, I'll provide the sandwiches and smiles.

Cheers!

Dee


Posted by Staff at 11:30 AM