Based on what my parents did to me as a child, the hardest thing to overcome as an adult was to learn how to think for myself. The underlying message of my house-hold was never to think for yourself - to never have a dream or desire of your own.  Everything was already predetermined by my parents. My job was to obey. My mother determined who I would be, what I would do, how I was suppose to feel, think, behave and believe. My ideas and dreams were all discounted and corrected and my dad supported her.

Upon going to college, my goal was to look for someone to pick up where my mother left off and tell me who I was and create a meaningful existence for me because it wasn’t okay to choose that for myself. I was never to trust my own instincts because others knew more about what was right for me than I did. I found the perfect match; a man who needed to dominate and control. I submitted to his will, as I had my mother's, and he took me down a wild ride for many years. I had to learn how to think for myself or remain his punching bag. I choose to grow up. It was a long, arduous path that took years, but I did it. I learned to think for myself and stand on my own two feet, to claim my own power and choose the direction of my own life.

I have not received any accolades from my family, but as I see other siblings stuck in marriages with abusive spouses thinking they're doing the right thing by "sticking it out," I will happily let them criticize me. I am living proof it is never too late to claim your own power and become your own person.

Helen