July 22, 2016
It Just Takes 1 Ingredient

Dr. Laura:

Your assumption that daughters who have a great relationship with their dads will seek out and often marry a man very similar in personality is dead on.  One of my daughters was very close to my wife growing up, and I offered her a trip away to foster OUR relationship.  That year we went west for four days of hiking.  The next four years we spent time at different places all around the world, creating a bond and level of respect that to this day she says kept her out of a lot of trouble.

After her first serious dating relationship fizzled, I asked her for her list of "must haves" in a husband.  We compiled a list of ten, and I suggested she treat every prospective date as a "mirror" comparison to her list, BEFORE there was any romantic connection.  I told her that if the package didn't contain the contents she was looking for, to move on.  She embraced that checklist and when she found someone she thought was a winner, it was easy for us to support them (and surprise - he had a disposition and personality similar to mine).  They got engaged a year later and married a year after that.

So to all the dads out there....you can be the biggest influence in your daughter's life.  All it takes is one ingredient - your time.  Give it generously, provide gentle advice as needed, and be there for the tears as they stumble through the biggest decisions of their lives.  Create special occasions to get away one-on-one for real bonding.  You'll have to spend the time one way or another - either "up front," building their character and morality, or much later, picking up the pieces of their lives after poor decisions go horribly wrong.

Al


Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM