December 19, 2018
We've Come A Long Way

Dear Dr. Laura:

My husband and I stupidly got married after knowing each other for only eight months.  I didn't realize then that people are on their best behavior when dating, and you need to take the time to get to know each other better.  If we had dated for a few years, I would not have married him.  He cared more about what his family thought than what I thought, but I too was the same way - we were both our parents' children rather than grown-up adults who were husband and wife.

As we have gotten older, however, we have ripened, and we see things differently.  I became more sensitive to his needs and more in tune with his emotions.  I listen to him more and validate what he says.  If I experience a hard time, he helps me out if he can.  When either he or I get sick, we offer help and support for each other.  We both work hard and show appreciation for each other's efforts.

Now, when I talk about my husband to others, I accentuate his goodness and say nothing about his weaknesses, because I have a few of my own too.  I would not want my husband bashing me to his friends and co-workers, but I'd want him to build me up the same way I do him.  

We've come a long way over the years, and I'm truly glad that he and I made it work.  We'll be celebrating our 26-year anniversary coming up.  Your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" really helped to make a difference in our marriage.

Thanks, too, for continuing to be the surrogate mom of our nation.

Warmly,

Leena



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Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM