January 26, 2018
Friends, Food And Sleep

Dear Dr. Laura:

Not long ago, I heard you tell a woman who had just lost her husband of 37 years that what she needed over the next few months was "friends, food, and sleep."  That is so true!  I lost my husband too, and I remember the sheer agony during those early days, and what a difference my best friend made in my life at that time.

I was at a point of just "surviving," but every night, my friend would send me a simple "hello" text message or made a phone call.  She didn't try to get me to forget or be distracted - she was just "there," so if I feel, she would help me get up.  If I had a good day, she was excited for me.  If I was sad, she was sad with me.  She did that for over a couple of years!  Just a simple "how was your day" text.  Her presence was needed on many occasions, and she just knew it.  I didn't know it, but she did.    "Friends, food and sleep" is a perfect description of what you need at that time when you lose your husband.

It's been nine years now.  I have not remarried nor dated.  Our daughter graduated from college this past year, so now that she's an adult and stable, I'm considering selling off the business my husband and I had and moving into the next chapter of my life.  

My best friend listens to you often, and I hope she'll hear the appreciation I have for her just being there and giving me a push to get out of bed and move when I needed to.  I also hope the caller I heard who prompted this email has a friend who can be HER best friend to help her get through the mundane things you "survive" during those early years.  Thank you for your clarity and those simple words:  "Friends, food and sleep."

Susan


Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM