You may not believe it, but loneliness is a voluntary condition. We choose whether to interact or close ourselves off, which can have a profoundly destructive effect on our lives. Here are 5 tips for overcoming your feelings of loneliness:

1. Make an effort. Don’t wait for invitations - make them. Call people up.

2. Cut out the negative self-talk. Stop degrading and insulting yourself. Don’t assume you know everyone’s reaction towards you. Everybody responds differently.

3. Be willing to welcome affection and attention. No matter how uncomfortable it is, close your eyes, open up your arms, and say to yourself, “I am open to having people care about me.”

4. Put yourself out there. The more you isolate yourself, the more negative you get. Find activities you like (or would like to learn) and join a group of people doing them.

5. Be open and honest with yourself. We all have baggage that we’re ashamed of. No matter how ugly or painful it is, say it out loud. By saying it out loud, it has a lot less power. It’s like taking it outside of your body so you can see it for what it is.