January 31, 2013
Unable to Do Work and Home Well

Hi Dr. Laura,

I want to thank you so much for your insight regarding my call yesterday about my decision not to tell my children about their father's method of suicide. I love your direct approach and honesty and I trust your advice.

I wanted to thank you for another "nugget" from the broadcast. I have been a full time teacher for 18 years....taking a year off with my first child after he was born and 2 years off with the twins. Just this past year, I made the decision (urged strongly by my husband) to stop working. I was, as you so eloquently said during our call, unable to do work and home "well". My kids were suffering because I had nothing left at the end of the school day, yet that is when they needed me the most.

Listening to you speak to the 18-year-old girl who dreamt of "having it all" was so refreshing. I have never described myself as a teacher. I am always a mom and wife first.  I only taught because we needed the income. I love teaching, but once I had children that passion shifted from my job to my children.

So now that I am home full-time, I often hear, "What a waste of your gift....to not teach and instead be home all day." Well, while I am home all day, I can pop in to school and volunteer, go to the gym and take care of myself (I have been fighting PTSD since the suicide), as well as keep our home running as smoothly as I can. I really feel like I am in uncharted territory...not working but with kids in school. All I know is now I get to visit and giggle with my children as I make them breakfast and pack their lunches, rather than rushing past with wet hair and throwing cereal at them telling them to hurry. When I pick them up at the end of the day (which is now 3:00 vs. 4:30) I have a smile on my face and we go to the library, to the park, wherever.  We are all so much healthier.

So thank you for validating our decision. It's hard to find support like that this day and age.

Sincerely,


Sarah

Posted by Staff at 4:22 PM