June 18, 2014
Remarrying When There Are Minor Children


Dear Dr. Laura,

I wanted to comment on your rule of not dating when there are minor children in the home. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I am 47 years old and lost my husband 18 months ago rather unexpectedly due to complications of diabetes. I have two teenage girls and my 91-year-old mother-in-law living with me. I work thirty hours a week which allows me to get home reasonably soon after my children get out of school.

I hear of other single, divorced and widowed individuals who are out looking for their next love interest. I have to say that at this time, there is nothing further from my mind. For one thing, I have little time or energy left for myself. I seldom even get a chance to get together with my friends, never mind to date. I'm OK with that for now because I know that is the way it has to be. Someone suggested to me recently that they didn't see anything wrong with me beginning to date. I almost laughed, which brings me to my second point, which is, who would want me right now? I have nothing to offer anyone. I remember my father telling me one time about a man he worked with who was a workaholic. He was divorced and about to remarry. His fiancee wised up and broke off the engagement. She told him that his work was first, his children were second, and she was third. She told him if he could not make her first, then she did not want to marry him. I look at the prospect of my dating the same way. I don't want to be second or third either. And there is no way I could put someone else first right now. If I can't put them first, how could I expect them to put me first?

Once my children are out of the house and on their own, I can think about dating if I choose to, but that will have to wait. For now, I have other priorities and the prospect of dating will have to go on the back burner.

Keep fighting the good fight. Thank you for all you do.

Christine

 

Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM