About 9 months ago, my son and I were having an "animated discussion" about something serious. He had just turned 18. Finally, I said to him that I was sorry he didn't agree with me, but we had to diffuse the situation, so I was going to stop arguing. He cheered and cackled, and laughed. "You mean I won?" I said "NO, it does NOT mean you won." It means that there are times when there is an argument which will never be resolved.  The person who is most senior or experienced has the moral obligation to quit, to show the other person that character is more important than carrying on over a matter that really doesn't matter all that much or rather won't in years to come (- a hill of beans, as Bogart said in "African Queen"). My son was silent. He went back up to his bedroom, and the incident seemed forgotten.

A few months later, I heard him explaining the same idea to one of his friends on his phone. I firmly believe that one of the best ways you can show your child you love him is to give him a firm foundation in what is the right thing to do. AND what is right is also what you do yourself.

Can you tell I taught for almost 30 years? My son used to get so mad if I said so!

Anne