May 29, 2014
What a Selfish B!%$h I Was! My husband had always asked for sex, usually 3-4 times a day. Over the course of almost 10 years of marriage, my usual response was to shut his requests down as I was too tired, not interested, or didn't want to get back in the shower afterwards. He stopped asking me 3-4 times a day. In fact, he stopped asking me all together over the last several months. This made me feel he no longer desired me. I asked him why he no longer wanted to have sex. He said he was sick of being turned down and learned to stop asking. Thinking about my issue and what you might say if we talked, I realized the issue was not the sex at all. The issue was that I was being a complete selfish bitch to the man who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Worse yet, even in that moment of revelation if he re-approached me and asked for sex, I would act cruel and deny him still. So no, this had nothing to do with the sex. It had to do with me mistreating my husband and him being the wonderful man he is, staying with me and learning to live without sex. The only problem is now that I realize what a mean selfish wife I have been, I still have yet to have him ask me for sex. Given, this is a new found revelation. I have since read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". These books made me realize how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband, and just how much he loves me. I had been withholding love for nearly 10 years, and felt very "out of love" with him. Your books have helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel that I decided to crawl into all by myself. I have started treating him with appreciation, admiration, and respect. And as you said in your books, he really is a simple creature. He has started to show me that same appreciation, admiration, and respect that I so longed to receive. I cannot believe what an idiot I have been for all these years, and how my life could have been so much more gratifying knowing that I had a man of all qualities that every sane woman would want. Yes, I now know how wonderful my husband, my partner, my son's father really is. I show him every day how much I am in love with him, and even though we still have not had sex, I know he is slowly coming around. He even made a comment he was not used to such unusual behavior from me. So I think once he realizes it's here to stay, he will again be ready to share more intimate moments with me and see that I will never be so selfish as to say no to sex again. Thank you Dr. Laura. For mine is a marriage that has been truly saved because of you! Best, Devra Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM |