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When I was in grade school one year, I got a few "D's" on my report card.' With a pen of contrasting color to the D, I made a line halfway across the letter from left to right, and turned the two D's into weird looking B's.' Much to my astonishment, my father noticed the alteration!' And, boy oh boy, I got punished.The following story ups the ante on my little escapade:' An 11 year old boy from Alabama didn't want to bring home his bad report card either.' So, he said that a man with a pistol snatched him after he left middle school, forced him into a beat-up car, and threatened to kill him.' He then explained that he escaped by jumping out of the car, but that he wasn't able to grab his book bag in which was (no surprise here)....the report card.' The police investigators were a bit suspicious when the boy was able to "escape" with his cumbersome band instrument, but not his soft, smaller book bag.'The boy ran to his grandfather's house, and admitted to lying.' The grandfather called the police to apologize.I mention this story because the issue of grades is important.' Grade inflation definitely exists -- and it's like telling a kid he's special just because he breathes regularly. It builds a false sense of competency and value which condemns a kid to fail in the future and be frustrated that his unconditional perfection hasn't quite panned out.'In addition, there's a lack of willingness to respect children who are able and willing to work hard and attain high grades and become valedictorians.' In fact, the acknowledgment of a valedictorian has been banned in some schools so the feelings of those less accomplished won't be hurt.'Then there are parents who want to see A's, even if their child is capable only of a C+.' I always tell parents that the teacher should let them know at their regular meetings whether or not their child is doing his or her best - that's the best -accomplishment.It's sad when parents don't know what's happening with their children's school work until report card day, and then the yelling starts.' Yes, this Alabama boy did the wrong thing, but he must have been (as I was) VERY scared about the consequences.' He's 11....11!!' If he's that scared,' then let's look at that first, and then help him to do his best.' Punishment for bad grades is not the way to go in this case.'Punishment for editing the D's or for lying to police?' Now that makes more sense. More >>

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Every time a celebrity does something egregious (and only when they get caught doing it), they appear on Letterman (or previously on Leno) or some network morning show to self-flagellate as a method for gaining sympathy.' It's a rather standard public relations maneuver, and I usually find it to be an example of false contrition.There's a big difference between having remorse because you were caught, as opposed to before you were caught.' Most people just say "Sorry," because they were caught, and not because they have actual remorse for doing something wrong.' In other words, their "Sorry," actually means "Geez, I'm soooo sorry I was caught," which is vastly different from "Oh, I'm soooo sorry I hurt someone." This brings me to Michael Vick, who, with his own hands, perpetrated some of the most horrific torture of fighting dogs that I have ever heard about.' Frankly, it was hard to imagine the kind of dissociation from all compassion and emotion that goes into looking into the eyes of suffering animals, and enjoying watching the pain and enjoying having that much power over an agonized, terrified animal.' To me, that is sociopathic which is over the top in cruelty.' I would not like to see that person on the streets ever again.Vick is now out of jail, and has been on 60 Minutes to explain his behavior and to make the case for his repentance.' Repentance has four parts:' 1) taking responsibility for your actions (owning what you've done and giving no excuses or blaming others for your own actions), 2) feeling remorse (i.e., being truly regretful for the hurt caused), 3) repair (for example, going to the Humane Society and/or giving talks to change people's minds and hearts about how they treat animals - and, by the way, Vick has been doing that), and 4) no repeat behavior.' Those are the Four R's of Repentance.On 60 Minutes , Vick took total responsibility for his actions.' He was even pushed by James Brown, who asked: "Who do you blame for all of this?" Vick said, "I blame me." He didn't use the words "but..." or "it's just..." which I hear all too often on my radio program.' Instead, he just took responsibility.' He talked about his first experience watching dog fights at age 8, and, as a boy of 8, thought it was cool, fun, and exciting.' It was something a lot of men friends did together.'It was poignant when he pointed out that it was time for him to pay the price with jail time, he did that alone, because all his so-called "friends" were gone.' He said, "I deserve to lose the $130 million." He also admitted to being lazy and arrogant while at the Atlanta Falcons. It seems he took his prison time to really assess his own moral character and his life.' He spent 2 years in jail, and was suspended from playing football, and he lost all his sponsorship dollars and his reputation.'None of that really impresses me...not at all.' What does impress me is his statement that "football doesn't matter at all," because "...I should have [taken] the initiative to stop it all.' I didn't.' I didn't stop it at all." So, I'm okay with the Philadelphia Eagles giving him a job.' I think he's taken a right-hand turn onto the correct road toward being a decent human being.' I'm willing to stand out of his way and let him do just that. More >>

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