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09/07/2010
After almost 30 years of following the popular phrase "be yourself and people will like you", I have finally realized that's a complete lie. What precipitated my complete change of view is that I went to a get together at a park.
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Tags: Attitude, Bad Childhood - Good Life, Bad Childhood-Good Life, Commitment, Dating, Friendships, happiness, Health, Men's Point of View, selfish, Social Issues
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05/13/2010
Some callers to my radio program are amazed when I explain that their situation is entirely of their own making, and don't allow them to complain about someone else as the architect of their situation.Sadly, a typical scenario goes like this:' a young woman caller with one or two illegitimate children is shacking up for years and years with a guy who is now out on the dating scene.' (Well, why
shouldn't
he date?' He's a single man with a consort!).' When the young woman protests that they have a "commitment," I ask "What
is
the commitment?' Where is it?"
There is no commitment involved in unmarried sex or procreation or cohabitation.
It's all "free-flowing," which is exactly what both paid for when they signed up
to not sign up for any obligation past the feeling of the moment
.The truth about females is that we lie to ourselves when we say we can just "hang out" or have "hook-up level" sex and make babies with someone who says "I love you," but ultimately doesn't walk the talk.'We
want
to nest, settle down, and have someone love us and protect us and provide for us, but we
behave
in ways that demonstrate massive denial, insecurity, and a kind of pathetic desperation or downright foolishness.None of this makes a woman feel special, put on a pedestal, valued or really loved.' And none of this protects the needs of children.' More and more women of late are intentionally having babies without marriage because, in my opinion, they are not competent to provide love and affection and attention to anything outside themselves, and the feminista women around them applaud the "no men" clause.' This is atrocious, as it undermines society and puts children in the position of
no daddy
.'None of you should show any support for any woman who makes this choice.' No support.....and lots of negative judgment.' Please.
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Tags: Commitment, Family/Relationships - Children, Marriage, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Shacking Up, Shacking-Up
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05/13/2010
Last week, I attended an event in the beautiful city of Huntington Beach, California.' It was the second annual "Battle Shark Challenge" hosted by the United States Army.' The Army invited new enlistees from southern California to come to the beach to compete in small groups in such activities as:' push ups, sit ups, tug of war, football, Frisbee, rock wall climbing, a 2 mile run, throwing grenades (fake ones, of course) and carrying a "wounded" soldier through a mine field (blindfolded).I participated in
everything
except Frisbee and football.' My team of 6 won the push up and sit up contests, and we also won the activity where you had to carry a "wounded" soldier through a mine field.' Everyone was blindfolded except the leader who had to give instructions.' The first time I played the wounded soldier; the second time I was the leader and we beat the previous best time by over a minute.' We lost the tug of war, and I wasn't able to throw my grenade further than the closest-in target.' I did the run, however, in less time than that required to qualify for enlisting in the Army, but they still wouldn't take me!It was an amazing experience to meet about 1500 young men and women who are willing to put their lives on the line for you and me.' I was impressed by their spirit, tenacity, good humor, self-respect, hard work, and commitment.' These are certainly NOT the types of kids who spend their days on Facebook or Twitter.' You have to be awed by how unique and special they are.Families came out to show their support, although it was very sad to me when one young woman came up to ask me how to handle her parents, who won't talk to her since she enlisted.' They didn't show up for this event either.' Shame on them and shame
for
them.' They missed an opportunity to see their child elevated in her own spirit and in our eyes.' I told her that I'd be her surrogate mother, and that she now owed me a Mother's Day card.' We hugged a lot.Frankly, I just wanted to hug them all.' I AM the proud mother of an American combat infantryman...very proud.' I am saddened for any parent who chooses to shun their child because they've made the selfless choice to defend all Americans.That's why we have to support them all.' Whenever you see anybody in uniform, shake their hands, buy them lunch, and/or tell them you're grateful.' It DOES mean a lot to them.
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Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Commitment, Military, Personal Responsibility, Values
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05/13/2010
I have a very good friend (and I hope she thinks the same of me).' Her name is Sheridan.We have a kind of magic together:' we have a lot of interests in common and do "day road trips" to bead fairs, fabric stores, yarn shops and such, because we share craft hobbies and help each other with our projects.' The other day, she just showed up when I was on the air to give me some buttons she'd bought for a tote project gift I was working on.' With the buttons came a card which showed an old photo of two women friends on a couch.' Underneath the photo, the caption read:
"A good friend will bail you out of jail.' A GREAT friend is one who sits beside you and says 'Wow, that was fun!'"
I couldn't stop laughing when I read that, and while you should not take that literally, it does suggest that friends really get into each other in a special way. Friends want to experience each other's joys and heartaches as part of bonding with and mending each other.I have watched Sheridan put herself out for me, stand up for me, and bend over backwards to make me happy.' I am one lucky woman to have such a blessing in my life.' Friends - really good friends - are a rare commodity:' you have to have just the right chemistry, attitude, understanding, forgiveness, openness, kindness, and thoughtfulness.' A good friend brings all that out in you.' A good friend makes you a better person.I'm sure we've irritated each other from time to time, but we've never had a fight about it.' Why not?' Because good friends have each other's best interests at heart and accept each other's quirks with humor.The best way to have a good friend is also the best way to have a good 'marriage: choose wisely, and treat kindly.And consider yourself very fortunate if you have someone who resonates with you in this lifetime.Sheridan,'I love ya girl!
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Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Commitment, Friendships, Mother's Day, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Personal Responsibility, Values
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05/13/2010
I thought I'd continue with the theme of new beginnings during the first week of the new year by telling you a "biggie" for me - something I had to learn at a deeper level than just on an intellectual level.' I took up the game of pool about a year ago.' And like everything I do, I jumped into it "full bore" and with ferocity unmatched by any other living creature.' I practiced hours every day in this mad-like rush to conquer this goal as soon as I possibly could.In general, my enthusiasm and full commitment pay off in learning and conquering new goals, but there are some that actually require a
dispassionate
approach.' That was tough for me.' I got thoroughly emotional whenever I missed even one shot!' I quit several times out of utter frustration.'Fortunately, I have a great coach/teacher who keeps trying to get me to be quite robotic.' He has me do what amounts to a ritual routine with each shot:' look at the shot and imagine it happening as I put chalk on the cue tip.' Then, put the chalk down and I pretend I'm doing the shot once or twice in the air, then get way down on the table and do practice motions up to the cue ball and then fire.Once I am down, no more thinking, moving, judging...just faith that my mind and body have this covered.'This took the better part of a year to learn.' But it works.The too easy frustration with myself comes from a most critical father's constant berating of me, and taking up pool has helped a tremendous amount with getting rid of that knee-jerk response.'I was setting up my weaving loom the other day, and everything was going wrong.' The set-up looked seriously trashy.' But instead of getting down on myself (like I would have done before), I just smiled, leaned over, cut it all off the loom and threw it away.' I walked away feeling quite accomplished!' Why?' I just accepted that sometimes it doesn't work - thrown away yarn is not the end of the world - and having the calm to make that decision to come back and loom another day is a big victory!I hope this story helps you.
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Tags: Adoption, Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Commitment, Courage, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Regarding Dr. Laura, Response To A Call, Stress
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